Monster truck racing:
newest spring sport

    In the coming months, students walking past the teacher’s parking lot may be greeted by a sight even more glorious than Mr. Savino’s automobile: a hulking 4 x 4 flying through the air, on its way to flatten the cars of faculty members into pancakes of twisted metal and broken glass. Many people have questioned the propriety of destroying so much private property, but as Principal Elaine Bessette explains, "I park in the front."

    The fleet of trucks cost millions of dollars. Athletic Director Betty Remigino-Knapp notes: "Scrimping on uniforms for all the girls sports teams left us with plenty of capital for the important stuff."